Farmer Giles of Ham, as all are aware, rents a cupboard from bed-bug. This is in fact the cupboard next to bed-bug's, and a secret passage links the two, so they can shag. Of course, they often prefer to shag in one of their cars, and so frequently at lunchtime they drive to a quiet secluded place together in one car, (probably "The Plough" at Tyttenhanger Green) so that everyone may know what they are going to do. You'd think they'd try to cover it up a bit, wouldn't you?! Still, with her doing Sex (Education), they probably take precautions. (Against having a child with biology teachers with parents. Poor sod!)

Her surname is "Palmer", and so "Palm tree" seems an obvious nickname. However, in an attempt to avoid the obvious, we named her "Treebeard", after a character in "The Lord Of The Rings". We also called her "Farmer Giles of Ham".