Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin. Once upon a time, in the insane town of Ispog, lived a very unhappy branch going by the name of Graham. Graham was very unhappy, as he had lots of very heavy leaves hanging off him. The leaves were so heavy, that they had started to tear him from the tree trunk.

But one day, the people that lived near him, known as the Gopsians, noticed poor old Graham one day, and helped him by taking all his heavy leaves off. They even entertained him by doing impressions of Giraffes as well, but they had to be very careful, because if an evil being known as a teacher saw them, they would be shot (or just told off a bit). Eventually, all the leaves had gone, but Graham was still unhappy, as he was still only partially attached to the tree, even though he was now much higher.

So one day a daring Gopsian took it upon him self to sneak past the evil ones and pull Graham free of the trunk, which he did. The branch fell back to the level he was originally, before falling all the way to the ground. He was then hidden away from the teachers next to an old submarine, where Graham made friends with some Russians, who played with him, and he was happy for ever more. However, the Gopsians were not, as they had no more branches to vandalise, or to practice being Giraffes on.

So the moral of this story: If you see a branch that is obviously in pain, FUCKING LEAVE IT ALONE!