Edgar, David Roy

As you pause for breath in a rocky glade, a figure steps from the shadows. Lowering above you, with arched back, ragged hair and unkempt beard, you seem at last to have found a legendary ent. The creature smiles.

But as the sky clouds over, and rumbles ricochet through the peaks, you realise this is not a friendly giant. It grins evilly as you are struck by some foul-smelling miasma.

You scream "No.. No... No!" and crushed with terror, you feel your bowel collapse beneath you.

"What a turd!" it cries.

David cackles demonically, and strides purposefully into the mountains, muttering something about munroes.....