Ernie

What can one say about Ernie that has not already been said? To film stars and supermodels of all nationalities and persuasions, he was the greatest lover since Casanova; to great scientists and philosophers, he was the first truly great thinker since Einstein, perhaps since Plato; to politicians and world leaders, he was the "Eminence en Bois" who manipulated all major global events to his own inscrutable ends. But to us, he was a twenty-centimetre bit of wood with a square head and a drawn-on suit. Oh, how we mourned following his tragic end, a death to put alongside Kennedy or Lennon in this century's bloody litany of assassination. He also made a useful drum-stick.