OASIS IN GOOD SONG SHOCKER! Noel Gallagher was today hounded by both press and fans after the shock allegations that he had in fact penned something original and good in one of his "songs". He denied the accusations profusely, saying in his usually eloquent style, "F*** off, you c*** q*** x*** m*** k*** rotters". Astonished scientific experts are still trying to explain the shock phenomenon, presenting explanations ranging from a freak hurricane or alien abductions to a series of quite profound spelling mistakes or Noel mistakenly copying down the contents of a beer mat, all of which could explain this uncanny rise in standards. We spoke to one Oasis fan, a Mr. I. Jackson:

"Quite frankly Brian, I feel betrayed. I mean, in all my arguments, I love sticking up for completely pointless, indefensible causes, ones with which nobody could possibly agree. Now that Oasis have written something good, what am I to do? No, but seriously, weren't Bananarama actually quite good?"

(Author's note: DON'T WORRY! IT'S JUST A JOKE! Something like this could never happen in real life)