The Options

These are options that are available after having a mistake in a physics text book pointed out to you by Pigeon. They can also be used in many other situations.

203 Options:

1. Tear page out.
2. Throw away book.
3. Shoot Mr. Pigeon.
4. Blow up the whole world.
5. See that it wasn't actually a book of principles of Physics in another universe.
6. Have a drink and forget about it.
7. Find the author and shoot them.
8. Find the author and brutally torture them.
9. Have a shag and forget about it.
10. Cease to exist.
11. Fart
12. Burp
13. Blow up the book with a nuclear weapon
14. Tippex out the diagram
15. Tippex out the whole book
16. Rewrite the page.
17. Rewrite the book
18. Burn the Book
19. Eat the book
20. Disguise your self as a mushroom
21. Use the book to wipe your bottom
22. Hang it from a tree and fire rubber bands at it.
23. Stick it up your arse
24. Hit your head against a wall
25. Eat a live newt.
26. Slide down the black pole.
27. Cut off your dick with an axe.
28. Turn inside out via your arse.
29. Murder your granny
30. Stand on your TV whilst tying a noodle to a chicken.
31. Go to sleep
32. Eat a dick
33. Eat 2 dicks
34. Ear 3 dicks or more in under a minute
35. Eat 3000 dicks a second for 25 years
36. Jump in a pile of steaming hot dung (human)
37. Eat your mum for breakfast
38. Create a pile of steaming hot dung yourself
39. Jump off a cliff.
40. Make yourself sick
41. Use your dick (cut off) as a straw to such up your tea / coffee.
42. Give yourself a blow job
43. Eat a pile of steaming hot human dung
44. Blow up Gilvo with a tonne of TNT
45. Pop Gilvo with a pin
46. Hang pigeon by his feet from the top of the Eiffel tower
47. Make a pornographic video involving yourself and a sheep.
48. Correct the book
49. Buy another book
50. Say ping in a very high voice
51. Sing "Gopsi" very out of tune.
52. Write "Gopsi", "Sex" and "Testicles-Slurp" on a wall
53. Shag a Giraffe.
54. Jump off a bridge whilst attached to a canoe.
55. Tie yourself to the rear end of a moving roller coaster.
56. Eat a train.
57. If you live in London or Glasgow say "Boing!".
58. Just say "Boing" three times anyway.
59. Go to sleep in a boring Physics lesson.
60. Set fire to all the greater spotted dicks in the world.
61. Tie someone's dick to a tree using reef knots.
62. Eat roast testicles marinated in cows period for dinner, with bats vomit for desert.
63. Drink your own urine.
64. Eat a hamster.
65. Stick pencils up your nose.
66. Wear underpants as a hat.
67. Turn inside out via your arse.
68. Ignore the fucking book.
69. Call the police.
70. Suspend yourself from a hook stuck to the ceiling with someone else's penis.
71. Eat a live Komodo dragon.
72. Get dragged along by a wild kangaroo whilst attached to its tail by a guy rope.
73. Scream.
74. Gulp.
75. Get very scared.
76. Eat someone.
77. Eat everyone.
78. Jump up and down saying "Boingy, boingy, boingy".
79. Turn into a dead frog.
80. Do some work.
81. Don't do any work.
82. Drop down dead.
83. Shag a female.....teacher.
84. Blow up Hawaii.
85. Sing Gopsiiiiiiii!
86. Eat Mr. Pigeon.
87. Destroy all lenses.
88. Destroy all mirrors.
89. Destroy all triangles.
90. Destroy all light.
91. Destroy all books.
92. Destroy all things (including Pigeon).
93. Give yourself an electric shock through your penis.
94. Change all clocks to different times.
95. Don't talk to everybody or anybody.
96. Shout "Pigeon's mad".
97. Cut off the end of Mr Hardcastle's tie.
98. Shave off your pubic hair.
99. Politely tell Pigeon to go away and stop wasting your time.
100. Tell Pigeon to fuck off.
101. Eat a Dongloburger fleedelyflob beast of Wangerland.
102. Explode.
103. Send a nice letter to the editor.
104. Send a death threat to the editor.
105. Shag the editor.
106. Insert the book up your rectum, and then fart it out at high speed.
107. Attach your penis to an oscilloscope.
108. Stick your foot in a bowl of boiling mercury.
109. Eat some custard.
110. Realise the world is made out of custard, then eat the Earth.
111. Stick your head down a toilet.
112. Stick a toilet down your head.
113. Say "Bollocks yum".
114. Turn into a pin.
115. Turn a pig into a pin.
116. Turn a pin into a pig.
117. Turn into a pig.
118. Take 'A' level 'cooking'.
119. Cling onto a hot lightbulb.
120. Take 'A' level shagging.
121. Teach 'A' level shagging.
122. Have sex using a banana.
123. Jump up and down with a chair leg up your rectum.
124. Jump up and down and wave your knickers in the air.
125. Use your penis as a bungy rope.
126. Use someone else's penis as a bungy rope.
127. Live inside a green science file.
128. Shrink.
129. Walk on the ceiling.
130. Sit in a bowl of Jelly.
131. Sit in a bowl of semen.
132. Weigh a 1-ton block of wood.
133. Stick your tongue up someone's vagina.
134. Stick your tongue up someone's rectum.
135. Weigh Stephen (on an incredibly accurate set of scales)
136. Find a mass of about 0.003 ug.
137. Live in the funny black globe.
138. Eat the funny black globe.
139. Stick the funny black globe up your bottom.
140. Change colour to / from green.
141. Stick your penis in a garbage disposal unit and turn it on.
142. Use a pencil sharpener to sharpen your penis.
143. Detach your penis and carry it around in a wheelbarrow.
144. Pump air into your testicles and hang them from the roof, just like the funny black globe.
145. Fly about on an aeroplane (on top of it, not attached on).
146. Fall off and die.
147. Commit suicide using - a herring.
148. Make a huge card tower using two million cards, then take away the bottom card.
149. Tie your dick to a car.
150. Tippex out the whole universe.
151. Tippex out Mr. Pigeon.
152. Shag the book.
153. Change pigeons name to "Mit Nosraep"
154. Shag a male teacher.
155. Watch a sad and sod-boring biol' video.
156. Hand in one's science assessment.
157. Stretch your dick to twice it's length.
158. Fall in love with your dick.
159. Shag your dick.
160. Write in lots of text books.
161. Urinate over the entire world.
162. Shag the video.
163. Excrete all over "Farmer Giles of Ham".
164. Sing the Mr. Gibb theme tune.
165. Sing all the Gopsi songs one after the other.
166. Sing all the Gopsi songs simultaneously, therefore creating a cacophony of total rubbish.
167. Give birth to an elephant.
168. Shag an elephant.
169. Tie your penis to an elephant, then show the elephant a mouse.
170. Tie a mouse to an elephant, then show the elephant your penis
171. Tie your penis to a mouse, then show your penis an elephant.
172. Live in a cupboard like "Bedbug".
173. Live on a shelf in a chemistry lab.
174. Drink some "Noah".
175. Hang "Pom-pom" on a string and use him as a yo-yo.
176. Blow up the school.
177. Make a pink flat shape, stick some crap on it, and label it "Mr. Fernandez".
178. Say "Blob Blob Blob Blob Blob Blob Blob Blob Blob".
179. Use Pigeons RM 380Z - oh no, that's not possible!
180. Eat the 380Z.
181. Eat a highly radioactive piece of something or other.
182. Save "Corrosion, the phallic object" from being thrown away.
183. Use "Corrosion, by Kevin M Snoad" for immoral purposes and sexual practices.
184. Squeeze your finger in a folder, and let out a squeal of pain.
185. Eat Corrosion.
186. Worship Arnold Barton.
187. Turn into the book.
188. Shag a gas tap.
189. Stick a gas tap up your rectum.
190. Drop a chemistry stirrer down the sink, never to be retrieved again.
191. Open a door.
192. Shut a door.
193. Cut down the tallest tree in the forest with a herring.
194. Stick a turd up your rectum, so that food comes out of your mouth.
195. Tie your penis to an aeroplane, and yourself to a runway.
196. Stick your penis up your nose.
197. Tie yourself naked to a wall, and have chairs, tables and other items of furniture thrown at you.
198. Live in a sewer for twenty three and a half years, eating turd and drinking rat's blood.
199. Teleport yourself to a faraway planet and then come back again.
200. Say "Untimdocigrumufudginationtudorpoodlecurdlecoodlefingochangflippetybang -
fantasiabingbongbooburdbeserkdisumberkmagnesiumetamorphosisantithickestablish -
whilst being ill with pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, floccipaucinihilipilificating
hepaticocholangiocholecystenterostomies and being an ultraantitransubstantiationalist.
201. Say "It's a doobery without a what'sit!" in front of an entire class.
202. Forget how to open a door.
203. Commit suicide using - a cup of coffee.