Physics (or phys as it is sometimes referred to among Gopsiites) is a rather exciting subject to do with motion, electricity, forces, Werthers Originals, options, equations and pigeons. It takes place in a physics 'lab.' (laboratory abbreviated) and it is taught by Pigeon, Kevin, and occasionally (and badly) by Hard-on. Of these three, the majority of them haven't the faintest idea what they're on about most of the time, and so this explains why no-one learns much. Due to this, physics is a right laugh, even when pigeon goes on about windsurfing, abseiling or any other unconnected rubbish and attempts to bore the class out of their minds.

GCSE physics practicals occasionally worked better than other Science practicals. This is not too surprising, as they normally involved easy to use equipment. They were also very good in that you could make up the majority of results, because you knew the really simple equation to find them. This is very useful, because you could shag two birds with one stone (or should that be penis), and also use the same equation in your prediction, conclusion and evaluation. This enabled you to finish the work exceedingly quickly, meaning that you could finish it in time to hand it in, as long as you didn't forget to.

Those intelligent Gopsians studying A-level know, however, that phys practicals are increasingly rare and much more common are the incomprehensible and confused lectures constructed of unrelated parts and absolutely no structure. Still, we can be forever sure that physics is an excellent subject and due to the intelligence of all Gopsians, we can yet pass despite the muddlings of Kevin and pigeon.