Police raid!

It is important to remember that whenever you are out, chances are that buglers enter your property to do what they do best - bugle. Bugling is a very time consuming process, so it is likely that when this parasite of society is in the process of bugling, they will sit down and watch telelvision, and generally make the house their own until you return. So if you should ever return home early for whatever reason, remember - there could be a bugler somewhere in your house stealing your posessions, vandalising your property, cooking an omlette, playing the piano or having a lie down. It is therefore of vital importance that upon entering, you make as little noise as possible in turning your key in the lock, but as soon as you are in you must shout at the top of your lungs "Police Raid!!!". This will of course frighten the bugler into thinking they are being raided by the police (the crime fighting organisation, not the band) and so will immediately return all your possesions to their rightful place, before making their escape and dissapearing without a trace.