Local Pensioner to vote Tory

Local woman Gladdys Wright, 82, has decided for the conservative party for the 13th time in a row. "That Mr Hague is such a nice man", she argued aggressively from her bungalow in Dorset, "not like that silly Tony Blair you know. My Dad used to say 'You can always trust a man who's bald'. I mean, that Hitler had lots of hair didn't he? As for Nigel Kennedy (sic), I can't understand a bloody word he says".

Mrs Wright, who's husband died 12 years ago, recently gave a long speech on the benefits of a Tory government, to her two friends Frank and Irene, after Frank stated "Why bother with any of them, they're all the bloody same. They should be put in the army the lot of them, that'll teach them a thing or two".

Mrs Wright responded with a retaliation that covered such issues as "My husband voted Tory", "That Anne Widecombe knows her stuff you know" and "We should give 'em another bloomin' chance".

Frank ended the debate with his final summation "They should shoot them all, and put them in the army", before heading off home with Irene, who had maintained a dignified silence, for their mid-afternoon lie down, and Irene’s medication.

Mrs Wright was considering supporting Labour early last year, but changed her mind during the fuel protests, although the final straw came when the price of her ovaltine went up by 3p.