How many times have you thought, whilst a-seated on the lavatory "Ooh! Wouldn't that dump be just so tasty!"? Never? Well I can tell you that in fact turds are not made of semi-melted chocolate but are indeed really revolting. Just for the occasion, I did not make up a song about turds. I could have done but I thought it sounded a bit silly.
| Turds: the facts. | |
|---|---|
| Colour: | Turd Brown |
| Taste: | Regurgitated mud pie. |
| Texture: | All slimy and squidgy (unless they're dried out, in which case they are tough and chewy) |
| Place of origin: | Bottoms! |
| GOPSI max. length of time without doing one: |
120 hours, by David Edgar (since records began). Nb. Competition still open for improvement. |