Roy's friend

Roy's friend has but two teeth. This is somewhat inconvenient to any poor person to have the misfortune to get into conversation with him. He talks at people on a variety of subjects such as camping and pianos, all within the same breath. Obviously, with such dashing features as his balding head, appetite for drivel and passion for the 79 bus (that travels from Keswick to Seatoller) it will come as no surprise to you that in the days of yore, he was responsible for the procreation of a son. Poor fellow. Not only is he really really really old but seems to have little grasp of the fact that due to inflation since the twenties, twenty-pence is no longer a day's wages, and thus the loss of which should not be regarded as a cause for ruination. Now, if you should find yourself in the neighbourhood of Cumbria, then watch out for this Old Character ('sad git'). And be careful - he can do deft things with that vacuum cleaner of his; so we are told.

See also: Roy, Teeth, Hair, Strange People, turds.