One of the fundaments of Gopsi, is music: Gopsi is music; music is Gopsi, and vice versa; not to mention universa vice (to recoin a phrase). The reason the music forms such an integral part of the semi-Gopsoidal consistency theorem, as it will well be appreciated, is fish. And so, it will not surprise the humble reader to know of the Gopsi Band. The name of this shady organisation was 'Stephen and the Pratts.' Yes, it was posters of us before which multitudes of virginal women prostrated themselves; yes, it was we who received so many appeals for illicit sex that they could not be recorded if each was assigned a minute of Methuselah's life; yes, 'twas we who were voted 'Sexiest Bodies in Peckham' nineteen times in a row, earning the sobriquet 'Peckers of Peckham'; yes, it was our band that won the 1993 Shapely Breasts Academy Award. We are unique among pop-stars in that we do not take many drugs; we are unique among living legends in that we aren't legends.
However, to be brief, this is the song that made our name, the song that all the world knows, the song on the lips of every free-minded individual, the song of all songs (even more than that death-metal boogie-tune: Song of Songs), the song that you hear every fellow on the London Metropolitan Railway attempting to sing only not really singing, that is, adding intermittent notes to a background of the crackle of their earphones. Yes! This is it! The one you've all been waiting for ... (in all 13 languages) ... (for the tune, ask any self-respecting member of Gopsi) ... ... ............
For each consecutive verse replace the words in bold for the phrases below.
I can see the motorway | English |
Je peux voir l'autoroute | French |
Ich kann die Autobahn sehen | German |
Puedo ver la autobista | Spanish |
Posso videre l'autostrada | Italian |
Viam videre possum | Latin |
Russian | |
Posso ver la autoestrada | Portuguese |
Rydw i'n gallu gweld y traffordd | Welsh |
Wo hui kan gaosu gonglu | Chinese |
My my my my my my my | Thai |
I can see the motorway, Sport / Sheila / Bruce | Australian |
Gee, Martha, Look at that cute little thing, don't you just want to eat it all up? | American |
Hit me over the head with a shillelagh, a pint of Guinness, and a motorway. | Irish |
Wah Ha! Ha Sah Ya Kai Fa! | Japanese |
See also: Gopsi Songs (originally Appendix B in the print version)