Cooper effect

In their 1994 treatise: 'Post-modernist Semantics and the Practical Lobster Farmer,' British Nobel Prize winners T. Democratis, D. Edgar, I. Jackson, S. Penney and their research team covered new ground in the field of anthropological psychoanalysis. Nothing since Krakatoa had caused such ructions in our neo-Freudian sjamboko-apathetic Society as their discoveries. Indeed, as you may, or may not, realise, it was a step, though as painful as when "After his speech, he made a long cast, and the whistling spear winged on, clanged on the shield, but sprang away to fix itself between the flank and groin of Antarës, a distinguished soldier there, Hercules' old companion,"¹ it was worth the effort.

The discovery which has since caused such vast social repercussions was, in short, that in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God and that when protoplasmic primordial atomic globule-type carbon-based life-forms develop vehicular internal combustionisational engines, certain patterns can appear in their arrangements while stationary. If we were to take a hypothetical car park (with cars in it), the following patterns might be visible:

If there is exactly one car in a row that is reverse-parked and does not lie in the spaces at either end, then it is described as a Cooper Effect;
A Pseudo-Cooper Effect occurs under the normal circumstances but when exactly one parking space in the line is left vacant;
The third form of Cooper Effect is the Extended Cooper Effect which takes place when one or more cars forward-park outside the parking spaces, but parallel to the other cars and a normal Cooper Effect is taking place.

The danger of these is that if a robin were to be jumping from bonnet to bonnet, it could crash into the back of the reverse parked car and die. This led to the germination of the theory, and that the reverse parked car was usually that which belonged to Mr. Cooper.