Cooper effect

In their 1994 treatise: 'Post-modernist Semantics and the Practical Lobster Farmer,' British Nobel Prize winners T. Democratis, D. Edgar, I. Jackson, S. Penney and their research team covered new ground in the field of anthropological psychoanalysis. Nothing since Krakatoa had caused such ructions in our neo-Freudian sjamboko-apathetic Society as their discoveries. Indeed, as you may, or may not, realise, it was a step, though as painful as when "After his speech, he made a long cast, and the whistling spear winged on, clanged on the shield, but sprang away to fix itself between the flank and groin of Antarės, a distinguished soldier there, Hercules' old companion,"1 it was worth the effort.

The discovery which has since caused such vast social repercussions was, in short, that in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God and that when protoplasmic primordial atomic globule-type carbon-based life-forms develop vehicular internal combustionisational engines, certain patterns can appear in their arrangements while stationary. If we were to take a hypothetical car park (with cars in it), the following patterns might be visible:

The danger of these is that if a robin were to be jumping from bonnet to bonnet, it could crash into the back of the reverse parked car and die. This led to the germination of the theory, and that the reverse parked car was usually that which belonged to Mr. Cooper.

See also: Artichokes.

1. Aeneid: Book X, 774 - 779, Virgil